


Letting Go

by gray_autumn_sky



Series: Set in Storybrooke, Canon Divergent [12]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 18:49:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15371037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: Robin reads Regina and Daniel’s story in Henry’s storybook; Robin and Regina discuss Daniel and what he meant to her on the anniversary of his death.





	Letting Go

Robin rolls over and reaches for her, expecting for his arm to fall over her waist, expecting for her to roll over and smile, expecting to spend the earliest hours of the morning holding her as they doze in and out of sleep—it’s become a pattern for them and every morning when his eyes flutter open, he anticipates it, looks forward to it and relishes in that quiet time with her.

But on this morning, his arm falls into emptiness and jolts him awake.

He sits up and looks around the room. The covers are pulled back on her side of the bed, an indent still in the pillow. He slides his hand over the sheets and they’re cold. She’s been gone for awhile, he realizes.

Quickly, he dresses, trying not to worry—she’s fine, he tells himself as he tries to ignore the nagging feeling that tells him just the opposite. Making his way down stairs, he peeks into the boys rooms to find that they’re both still asleep, eliminating the possibility that she’s with one of them. Reaching the kitchen he sees that the coffee pot isn’t full and her mug still sits beside it. He feels a knot of worry form in his gut, unable to shake the feeling that something is wrong. Turning he leans forward and places his elbows on the countertop, making a mental list of the places she might be, all the while trying to rationalize that she’s a grown woman who can come and go as she pleases.

And then he sees it—the storybook is sitting at the edge of the counter. He’s sure it wasn’t there a moment before, but it has a way of just appearing when necessary.

Curiously, he opens the book and it easily falls open to an image of Regina. Robin smiles at the picture—she’s young, not much older than Henry is now, she can’t be more than eighteen years old. She’s wearing riding clothes and her hair is pulled back into braids; her cheeks are rosy and flushed, and she’s smiling a smile that shines through her eyes, looking so sweet and innocent, untainted by what the future holds for her. Absolutely adorable, he thinks to himself.

Then he realizes just what he’s looking at—its Regina’s story with Daniel, a story in which he knows the ending, but not many of the details. She doesn’t talk about it and he doesn’t press her. It’s not because it bothers him or he’s jealous that a piece of her heart is closed off to him, remaining with Daniel; he just doesn’t want to conjure up the painful memories and cause her to relive the heartache simply so that he can know the story.

Turning the page, he begins the story of how a girl of noble birth, a girl whose mother believed she was destined for royalty fell hopelessly in love with a stable boy, a farm boy who could never rise to up the social ranks to become king. It was a friendship first that slowly blossomed into something more—something beautiful that would change her life and give her a reason to believe in true love.

He reads about how her cheeks flushed the first time Daniel reached for her hand and she nervously folded her fingers down through his; he reads about how they’d ride out into the country side on property that was a part of her family’s estate, far enough away where no one would see them, where they enjoyed picnics under her favorite apple tree and laid on their backs, watching the clouds float past them; he reads about that first kiss—tentative, soft and sweet, only lasting a couple of seconds, but long enough to make her heart flutter and skip a beat. He reads about how she’d try to skip dress fittings for the sake of extra riding lessons and how she’d bound into the stables, laughing out in excitement of getting to spend a few extra hours with him when her plans actually worked; and he reads about the first time Daniel confessed his love to her, how despite her trembling chin and teary eyes, she smiled a smile so full of hope and joy as she quietly admitted that she loved him too.

He reads about the day she saved Snow White from her runaway horse, how she and Daniel planned to run away together and how the little girl was tricked into betraying the secret. He reads about how Cora showed up in the stable, faked her acceptance only to get close enough to rip out Daniel’s heart as Regina watched in horror; and he reads about how she ran to him, sobbing as she fell to her knees and cradled his head in her lap, how she leaned in to kiss him, a part of her hoping that True Love’s Kiss might save him, only to be disappointed as he laid limp in her arms.

He looks at the last image—how broken and terrified she looks, such a contrast to the girl from just a few pages before. His heart aches for her and he suddenly knows exactly where to find her.

__

He hesitates for only a moment before crossing over the grassy path to where she sits on a stone bench beside Daniel’s grave stone. As he sits down at her side, he wonders if he’s intruding on a private moment, smiling meekly as she turns to face him.

“How did you know I’d be here?”

“I woke up and you weren’t there…” He pauses, “So went downstairs and the storybook just…appeared on the counter and opened to a story about this sweet, innocent girl who fell in love with her family’s stable boy.”

“Did you read it?” She asks, turning to look at him. He nods and again wonders if she’d wanted him to. Her response doesn’t answer his question; she just nods and looks back at the gravestone. “On this day, all those years ago…I lost him. And that set everything else into motion.” She looks back at him, her eyes meeting, “This day…is always a hard day for me.”

“I know what you mean,” he admits quietly. “I…wasn’t sure if you’d want me here,” he admits softly, offering her an easy way to dismiss him if she wants to be alone. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, to let you know that if you need me, I’m h…”

“I’m glad you’re here,” she cuts in, as she reaches over and takes his hand. She pulls it into her lap as her fingers curl around it. “I come here every year,” she begins, “And every year, I’ve sat here and allowed myself to get lost in the memories—the good and the bad.” She smiles gently, “He was the first person who ever believed in me, the first person I didn’t have to walk on egg shells around…the first person who loved me because I was me.” She sighs and her breath is shallow. “He would have hated what I became.”

“Regina…” Robin begins, ready to go on the defensive, to remind her how far she’s come, how she’s changed and made amends; he wants to tell her that when you love someone, it’s not a switch that can just be turned on and off because of mistakes the person makes.

But she speaks before he has the chance to do it. 

“I have done so many terrible things in his name…and this is the first year that I’ve sat here and realized how much he would have hated that.” She looks back at him. “I spent so many years wondering and wishing and…wallowing in what might have been, what should have been…” She pauses and looks over at him, “But I’m not the girl he fell in love with, I’m not the girl who fell in love with him.” Again, she pauses, but this time she looks away. “And the life we planned together isn’t one I’d ever want now. I could never want a life that didn’t include Henry. I wouldn’t have you and Roland…” She trails off, losing herself for a moment in her thoughts, obviously troubled them.

“You’re feeling guilty.”

“Yeah…” she tells him with a nod. “I am.”

“I know a thing or two about that,” he says with a quiet sigh, as he slides his arm around her, smiling softly as her head comes to rest on his shoulder, grateful that she’s letting him in.

“Believe it or not, there’s not much I feel guilty about. The past is…in the past. There’s no changing it, but the future—the future is something that can be changed. I just…I just hate the way his story ended, that he died because of me, because he loved me.”

Leaning in, he kisses the top of her head. “Will you tell me about him?” Lifting her head from his shoulder, she looks at him and a small grin appears. “I want to hear the story from your perspective,” he grins. “That is, if you want to tell it.”

“You… really want me to tell you about me and Daniel?”She shakes her head, “Why would you want to hear a story about me falling in love with someone else?”

“Because,” he begins, glad to see her smiling, “His story helped to shape yours and your story is something I am very interested in. I love you, Regina, but I’m glad that before I could, he was there to love you. You were right in saying that you’re not that girl anymore—you’ve grown up, you’ve changed, but that girl who fell in love with Daniel all those years ago is still a part of you.” He pauses, reaching up to tuck a few straying locks behind her ear. “And…I think talking about it will help with the guilt you’re feeling.”

Slowly, she exhales, “I…don’t even know where to begin.”

“The beginning is always a good place,” he suggests. “You don’t have to, if you don’t…”

“It’s just…no one’s ever wanted to hear it,” she tells him as a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. He can’t help but smile back as she settles against him, launching into the story of her first love, glad that she’s opening up and letting him in, letting him comfort her and letting go of some of the guilt.


End file.
